Oh Poop!

Dear Max,

After trying to emulate you for almost nine years, I finally did it. I pooped at the stabby place when the v-e-t was squeezing my tummy. But I digress.

Instead of napping contentedly this morning, I should have been paying attention. Mom came into the room and picked me up and placed me in the crate (just like that!) Then we went for a ride in the metal masheen and I was brought to the stabby place. Naturally I howled my displeasure the entire ride.

 Once we got there, I was forced to wait while all kinds of woofies came in and out. One of them wanted to sniff me, but I objected strenuously.
 

After forever, I was brought into an exam room and placed on a very cold metal table, where I had to wait and wait and wait. Mom took advantage of me by petting me with two hands at the same time which I have never permitted.
 

I was not amused.

After another interminable wait, two very nice ladies (I have to admit it. They were very good to me.) came in and started poking at me. They brushed my furs, squeezed my tummy (that's where I pooped on the table), looked at my teeths and eyes and listened to my heart. The lady v-e-t actually put some drops UP MY NOSE!!! It was positively demeaning.

Aside from some tartar on my teeths, I am in excellent shape, and was deemed "perfect."

Like that's a surprise.