Thursday, September 09, 2010

Terrible Thursday

WELL.

Yesterday the score was

Millie: 1
Mom: 1

This morning, Mom went out. When she came back, she had this:A bigger PTU (Prisoner Transport Unit). So big, in fact, it is for woofies! Mom thought the wire top and door and more openings on the side would induce me to go into the box more willingly.

In her mind, the score was now like this:

Millie: 1
Mom: 2

However. Do you see me in this new PTU?
Of course not!

Millie: 2
Mom: 2

But later Mom and I got into an argument. She bribed me with stinky goodness. She bribed me with treats. She chased me around the house. She moved furniture. I was NOT going into that PTU.

She begged. She pleaded.
I resisted. I howled.

She got her leather gloves.
I hissed. I scratched.

In the end, we were both worn out, and I ended up in the original PTU.

Mom was shaking.
I was panting.

Millie: 2
Mom: 3


We went for a ride in the new metal masheen. We went to the v-e-t.

Millie: 2
Mom: 4

I'm not stupid, I knew what was coming. I wasn't getting out of that box even if the door was open.

Millie: 3
Mom: 4
I was unceremoniously dumped OUT of the PTU onto a steel table.

Millie: 3
Mom: 5

A very nice, very gently lady v-e-t petted me, and told me how pretty I was. (I get a point for that.) She looked at my teeths. (I get another point for that.) She poked my tummy and I was very nice. I didn't growl or scratch or fight. (I get another point for that.). I think I got stabbed. (I deserve two points for that.) She carefully trimmed my claws, stroking me all the time. Then she picked me up, and very gently carried me into another room and put me on a scale.

Dear cats! I actually lost weight! I am a very slender, svelte 10.3 pounds! The very nice lady v-e-t said I was PERFECT! (I get another point for that.) When she was finished, Mom brought the PTU over to the table and I hopped right in! (I get another point for that.)

Millie: 10
Mom: 5

The Very Nice Lady V-e-t said she added a note to my record that I did not like getting into the PTU and that any future appointments should be considered "flexible." Dunno what that means exactly, but it didn't sound bad. Sounds like a point for ME!

Final score!

Millie: 11
Mom: 5


And beans think they are smarter than cats!

28 comments:

Angel and Kirby said...

Of course cats are smarter. You win in more ways than one. You don't have to go back for a year, you lost weight and you are Perfect.

Angel and Kirby said...

Of course cats are smarter. You win in more ways than one. You don't have to go back for a year, you lost weight and you are Perfect.

Kea said...

LOL! Well, we're glad it was just routine stuff, Millie.

Our mom leaves all our carriers open 24/7, with blankets in them, up in a spare room. Annie has been known to nap in them, Derry too, once in a while. They are the top-loading kind, so when it's time for the v-e-t, she just closes the front door, opens the top hatch, goes and picks us up and carries us upstairs and plops us in, no fuss or muss. She picks us up enough every day that we, unfortunately, don't see it coming.

Milo and Alfie Marshall said...

Millie yoo can owt-smart any mummy, anyday!

Cat said...

I actually find it more difficult to get kitties OUT of the carrier than to put them in.

I'm glad you had a good check-up Millie and are the picture of health :-)

Max said...

Not only do you win, but I think you get extra points because your Mom has opposable thumbs that make manipulating the PTU easier than avoiding it is.

Carolyon said...

Millie you were so brave putting p with being poked and prodded!
I like the idea of the going to the V-E-T being flexible!

Caro

Sparkle said...

Of course you get way more points, Millie - you totally showed everyone that no matter how much they fought, YOU were in charge!

Ayla and Iza, said...

Well, ya had ta finally go to the VET, but we are glad ya scored more points! Congrats on the "win"...

Megan said...

Well played Millie. And the very positive feedback from the nice lady v-e-t was particularly gratifying. You are officially "perfect". I think we all thought that already, but now it's been formally acknowledged and documented in your medical records, no one will ever be able to dispute it.

As for your poor Mom - how about giving her a point for perseverance? And a point for choosing you - Miss Perfect - in the first place? That woman sure has good taste.

Megan
Sydney, Australia

Cat of Nine Tales said...

Sounds like everyone did a good job! But you are extra special perfect :).
~Lisa Co9T

Shaggy, Scooby and Scout said...

We are exhausted just reading that!
We, too, are always happy to go back into the ptu when the exam is done. No Problem there!
We think that is funny you went into the smaller cozy carrier. Hope mom can get her money back on the big one! You showed her!

Shaggy, Scooby and Scout said...

PeeEss: That big one is the same carrier mom has for me, except red. Being I'm 18 pounds, when she lifts it she always has to remind herself "Lift with your legs, not your back!"
-Shaggy

Derby, Ducky said...

At least it is over for another year. We have a big carrier too, with the open top. I like it. I can see out and up when I ride.

Derby.

The Selvage Fairy said...

you know Millie,
Your mom is not very big as beans go, but she is always going to be bigger than you, and since she has leather gloves, the trip to the VET is probably unavoidable.
So, if when the ptu comes out, you should just pick up your head and march right in. You'll get two points - for cooperation, and dignity.

Vicki @ DottyJane said...

Dear Millie,
Helen here, but my human mom is writing for me. I had a similar experience yesterday at the v-e-t. My mom had to use the gravity to get me in the ptu and the v-e-t had to pull me out as I was hanging on for dear life. I think I got stabbed 2 or 3 times and they shot some nasty yellow goo into my mouth. They shoved very long Q-tips into my ears! Believe me, when that was all over I ran back into the ptu and begged mom to get me outa' there! They told me I was pretty, but I knew it was just a ploy.
Here's to a whole year of no v-e-t!!
Have a wonderful day,
Helen

Hannah and Lucy said...

We so sympathise with you Millie - Hannah has been to the v-e-t torturers many times this year and she tried everything to avoid the carrier. Mind you mum ended up wearing gloves to put her in the carrier the last few times as her hands were scratched to ribbons. Hannah is still mad at me cos I hid and didn't help her - well I was frightened mum would end up taking me by mistake!!
You've got a year to think up your new strategy before next time.
BTW is your mom going to get a dog now she has a carrier for one??!!

Sylvester, Camille and Ava said...

we are sorry you still had to go to the v-e.. v-.. ve-....that horrible place, but it sound like they treated you well, and your score beat your moms! yay

Amy and The House of Cats said...

It stinks that you had to go to the Vet Millie, but it sounds like it was a good visit, and you came out way ahead!

The Meezers or Billy said...

sorry you gotted stabbed and stuff, and that in itself sounds like you didn't win, but you really did win! good job!

meowmeowmans said...

Sounds like you got a clean bill of health, Millie! :) And we are glad to see you got WAY more points than your Mom!

Mickey,Georgia , Tillie said...

ICK!!! We do not like those sneaky trips to the Vet either!! However you were brilliant and proved that kitties are the smarter ones :) heehee
Purrs Mickey,Georgia & Tillie

Kikky said...

We had a kitty once, a tortietude type of kitty. She knew when she was at the v-e-t she had to be on her best behavior. She didn't know if the people there would forgive her if she shredded them. Us... she knew we loved her and would forgive her. Sigh...

Millie said...

Dear Kea: I have never, ever, gone into a PTU willingly for anything. Even foods.

Dear Megan: ok. But only -one- point.

Dear Selvage Fairy: I'll think about it.

The Furry Bambinos said...

Millie, we are so sorry that you got terrorized and had to fight so hard! But in the end, you prevailed!

Padre, Panda Bear, Meerkat, Cookie, and Caramel

P.S. We're not sure if Blogger ate our previous comment for this post, so we are trying again.

Sue said...

Message to Mom Lynne from Mom Sue:

Whew! We know how rough it is! We had two feral kittens in our home for a month. A few times, they got out of the foster room, and Mr. Bibs was next to impossible to catch. Given his penchant for pooping anywhere but the litter box, letting him stay out of the foster room was NOT an option. Sometimes I was able to corner him and then scruff him. Most times, I had to (this is going to sound horrible) grab him by his hind legs and place him, flailing, snarling, spitting, and hissing into a PTU to transfer him from one bedroom to another.

You are a kind soul to accept Millie as she is. Mr. Bibs and Hidey are now back with their feral colony, and much happier I am certain!

Mom Sue to The Furry Bambinos and The Fosters

P.S. Cortizone-10 Plus works great.

Pumpkinpuddy said...

Glad you came out perfect. I used to fight mom about the carrier, too. Then she got me my little red tent. I has my nice fleecy bed in it. I sleep in it, I play in it, and when it's time to go somewhere, since the tent is always there I don't know ahead of time why mom's picking me up. She picks me up and puts me in my comfy tent and I'm just fine. Now, getting me out of it on the other end is another story! MOL

Teri and the cats of Furrydance said...

Wow, nice staycation cept for the Vet part but you survived it! Oh, and are you sure it didn't say you were 'Fx' instead of 'Flexible'? In vet lingo, that means fractious, hahameow!