The Hot as Hell Box on a Cold Cold Day

When it's cold and windy out, like it has been this weekend, Mom finds something to cook in the hot-as-hell box. She says it heats up the house and it smells good. Usually it's brownies for Mr Karate.

After she came back from hunting at the grocery store (she hardly bought any BEEF at all), she heated up the hot-as-hell box and beheaded (and be-bottomed, I suppose) four nice big fat red bell peppers, took out the stems and the insides, and put them under the broiler in the hot-as-hell box to "roast." Now, Mom may call it "roasting", but let me tell you, all that happened in there was the peppers turned BLACK! That's called BURNING, in my book.

Anyway, when they were all black, she fished them out with the tongs, put them in a bowl and covered the bowl with plastic wrap. Then she just let them sit there.

Next she roasted a real whole live dead chicken! That sure did smell good. I made sure to get some little bits of -that- I can tell you!

While the chicken was cooking, she peeled apples and cut them up and put them in a baking dish. She sprinkled brown dirt all over them, and then some different kinds of brown dirt she keeps in jars in the cupboard. She called them Cinnamon, Nutmeg and Cloves.

When the chicken came out of the hot-as-hell box, the apple slices went in.

Mom then had the chicken for dinner, along with some stupid potatoes and some disgusting green rabbit food.

Next thing I know, she's got a really cool bag of tiny red ballsand she won't let me play with them. I know they're balls, because she dropped one and it bounced and rolled under the table. So she dumps these little balls in a big bowl and adds more of that stupid brown dirt, then some of those special dirts, like she added to the apples, then she scraped the skin off an orange and stuck that in, and then she added the juice from the orange, and then she put some of that really really totally disgusting stinky stuff she calls "Gran Mar-nee-ay" in it and then she added some golden raisins and some regular raisins and mixed it all up. So when the apple slices came out of the hot-as-hell box came out of the oven, the dish with the little red balls went in.

Now I'm not saying this stuff smelled -good- but it did smell -interesting.-

While the red balls were in the oven, she peeled black skin from the red peppers. Then she cleaned everything up.

Dunno what she's gonna stick in that hot-as-hell box tomorrow. Here's what the stuff looked like when she was done:


At the top are the peppers, now "roasted." On the bottom are the apple slices and the red balls Mom called "cranberries." On Turkey Day, she will heat up the cranberries, and then add the apple slices, and then heat it all up, then eat it with the big bird.

Seems like an awful lot of trouble.