Thank you ALL for ALL your thoughts. For those of you who haven't commented on yesterday's blog, please do. Do not think you have to agree with me. I really need to hear the pros and cons.
Last night I was terribly conflicted. Here's the story so far:
Thursday- Gizzy looks lousy, not eating. I call the vet and set up an appointment for Saturday (Friday I was fighting Apache, remember).
Saturday - 8 AM - Gizzy gets subcutaneous fluids. I expect him to perk up. He doesn't. Desconsolate, I visited the Animal Shelter's website and found Zorro.
Sunday - Gizzy still not eating. All he wants to do is sit near me. When he does, he purrs nonstop.
Monday - Gizzy not eating. I call the vet about helping him to the Bridge, I call my sister for support. 6 PM I get home from work - he's sitting in the window waiting for me, as he's done for 15 years. He wants to go Out. We go Out. He perks right up. Color me surprised. Back inside he doesn't eat much. Color me confused.
Tuesday - Gizzy still not eating. After work, I go visit Zorro. He's older and considerably bigger than I had expected. Great cat, but I have serious reservations. My mom says he'll be fine. I get home, (Gizzy is waiting at the window) and set out some Beef and Gravy stinky goodness for Gizzy. He eats more than he has in the last several days, then goes back for more a bit later. Maybe he ate 1/4 of a 3 oz can, but that's more than he's been eating lately. Note to self - get more Beef with Gravy.
Wednesday, today. Gizzy has slept near me all night (again, as he has for years). I feed the cats, then take a shower. When I get out, Gizzy is sitting on the bathroom counter, drinking from the faucet ("tap" for Fat Eric & English Daisy). This used to be "normal" for him, but he hasn't done it in a week, so drinking today is a "big deal."
Here's where I am right now... As long as Gizzy waits for me each night, fights off Millie when he doesn't want her attention, waits for me to get out of the shower and continues to do all the things he normally does... he isn't going anywhere. When he needs to go to the Bridge, I am sure he will let me know. If he needs sub-q fluids more frequently, I'm willing to do it.
And Zorro, cute cat that he is, is going to have to find another home. I can't handle the stress, and I'm not really up for four cats. When I got Millie, I was expecting to lose Jasmine, and I would have had only two cats. Two was what I expected.
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Now, a word about the kitty quilts. When I first proposed the idea, money was very tight after some unexpected expenses, and I simply didn't have the cash available to bring Gizzy to the vet for a visit and bloodwork. I had hoped to raise enough to cover that cost. I never intended to pursue extraordinary means to keep Gizzy alive at his advanced age of 15.* I have received orders for kitty quilts beyond my wildest expectations. After the first week, when asked about quilts, I told folks that I had raised sufficient funds to cover Gizzy's expenses and gave the option to refuse. I've had to raise the price because I went right through my fabric stash (and a good portion of my sister's) and had to buy materials. I love making the quilts. Sewing is one of my favorite things, and it's a great stress relief.
*Anesthesia is really iffy for older cats, so any kind of surgery is absolutely out of the question. His bloodwork came back normal, and the last option is expensive ultrasound. That seems pointless to me because surgery is not an option. For what it's worth, the vet agrees with me. The goal is to keep him happy and keep him comfortable.
I have my marching orders.
Thanks. For everything.
Mom Lynne
31 comments:
Dear Lynne,
I have followed Millie's blog since it started, and had previously breathlessly waited for Malcolms' story as it unfolded rescuing Millie. I don't comment often - apologies, but I do love the blog. I feel you are doing right by not giving a home to another cat right now. I think you have your hands full with the cats you have, and having read all the comments, and having three cats myself, you can never tell how a cat is going to react to a newcomer and how they are going to fit in. It is a shame about Zorro, but with luck he will find another home, you have to make sure that the cats you have are content. When you are upset it can be easy to make a spur of the moment decision, but I'm glad you thought it through. I am sure you will know when is the right time for Gizzy, and I think you are right - it is not time yet :O)
We are all rooting for Gizzy. Its so hard having an older cat or one that doesn't feel well. I've been there. Just love him as much as you can and he'll let you know when its time. We'll keep you in our prayers.
Pam, Sneakers, Bones, Buddy, Rowdy, Mookie and Binx
Mom Lynne
Firstly thank you for the booteefitismal quilt. I will be posting pictures very soon (as soon as I get them off my digital camera!).
I am happy to hear Gizzy is, well, holding his own. I honestly think you will KNOW when the moment comes and that Gizzy will leave no question in your heart or mind what is the courageous thing you can do for him.
But, until that time -- whenever it is -- he sounds like he is doing pretty well for a senior fella. I guess, he simply has his bad days and his better days.
Zorro looks like a sweet baby. But, I can speak from experience with having 5 babies to care for. Each one adds another dimension to the madness. I don't regret one bit adding each of the 5 we have, but I know how challenging it is, especially for older cats.
So it really sound like things are holding steady -- and hopefully the boat doesn't rock anytime soon.
Purrsss
Abby's Mom (Debra)
Only you know in your heart what is the right thing to do for you and for Gizzy. We are hoping Gizzy gets well too. Please take care of yourself and take it one day at a time. All the best!!
Brenda & Ninja
I believe you are doing the best you can for all concerned. Please remember to keep on caring for YOU! (If you don't, who will care for the cats?) Beloved Gizzy will cross the Bridge when he's called, so keeping him comfortable and happy in the meantime is great. I recently adopted a 13-year old male Siamese, whose interim people expected him to cross any time now. He's fighting it out with my 6 year old female tabby for alpha cat, and they're both happy and healthier for the interaction. The good Lord loves cats, so we'll trust Him to look after yours, too!
Zorro is adorable, but I also have 5 cats and they don't all get along, but we love them anyway. So, not getting him at this point is a good idea. If possible I know you'll take Gizzy out as much as possible. Maybe he's just tired of being cooped up all winter. I know I am! I can understand not doing the ultrasound, but I still think it's a good idea. If for no other reason than to see what might be his problem. I guess I'm just the curious type. We have a kitty that had an ultrasound and am happy we did. Luckily she's only 9 so she had no problems with surgery. I supppose I'd just rather know what the problem might actually be than not having any clue.
Mom Lynne,
Dragonheart's mom Caylynn here. It sounds like you are doing the right thing and making the right decisions. Gizzy seems to be giving you mixed signals, but you and your vet agree on what needs to be done for him, to keep him happy and comfortable, and that's what matters.
I'm not surprised your kitty quilts have "taken off!" They are beautiful and you really do have a good eye for colour and patterns. It's terrific that you've raised enough money for Gizzy's vet expenses and that sewing is giving you stress relief at the same time.
I am keeping Gizzy in my prayers here and Dragonheart is sending him lots of healing purrs. Take care of yourself too.
I think you are doing the right thing. Gizzy probably won't like a new addition to the family at this stage.
Lynne, I am in total agreement with you. I have been in your situation more times than I care to remember the last 4 years. It's heartwrenching and confusing and one minute you think you're right and the next you think you're wrong, and you waver like that for days. It sounds like Gizzy is just getting older. He will have good days and bad days and when a few bad days string together, it's so hard. Believe me, he will let you know when it's his time.
I'm sure that Zorro will find a furefurr home very soon. He's beautiful!
If you ever need to talk, don't hesitate to drop me a line.
Meezer Mom Mary
Lynne, getting other opinions is good. The final decision is, of course, yours. No one knows Gizzy's, Jasmine's and Millie's needs and personalities better than you. Maybe Gizzy is just tired of winter and going out in the fresh air will perk him up. There will always be homeless kitties in need of love. When the time is right you'll find the one for you, or they'll find you. We'll keep praying for Gizzy and for you.
I have a box of fabric that you're welcome to (free, of course), if you'd like it. You can e-mail me by visiting my blog and clicking on the Customer Service Department linky on the right.
Well, it sounds like you have made a decision. Meowm and I will continue to purray for Gizzy and the entire family!
Mom Lynne,
I agree completely about Gizzy, he will tell you when it is time. Right now, he is sending mixed signals for reasons we don't understand (maybe he doesn't either). I'd just continue like you're doing, loving him and appreciating each day.
I think Zorro is cute but don't think you or the cats could handle him at this point.
That's just my opinion...
We're all praying for Gizzy,
ML (Mary Lynn)
PS: Missy, KC & Bear send purrs and purr-rayers, too.
I think you are doing the right thing. Bringing home a new kitty is an adjustment, and it might be too stressful for Gizzy right now. As long as he is still enjoying life, all is well, even if he is not very active. He will let you know when his time has come. I am keeping Gizzy in my purrs.
Hi Lynne,
This could not have been an easy decision. It's hard to not adopt a kitty to whom you've already given a little (or big) piece of your heart.
I agree with the curious anonymous poster up there in that I'd like to get the ultrasound done to try to identify Gizzy's problem. But that's just me, too: I very much dislike unanswered questions and mysteries! Also, it's not a sure thing that the ultrasound would provide enough or any info for a diagnosis; sometimes they just can't see the problem, even in an ultrasound. In any event, there may be treatments that can be prescribed symptomatically to help Gizzy feel better and eat more. E.g., one cat currently receives a 1/4 Pepcid every day and 1/4 prednisone every other day for his IBD. Thankfully, both meds are relatively inexpensive.
Now, about the quilts: Are you saying you're not making them anymore? Or just that you don't need to make them anymore now that Gizzy's bills are paid? Yesterday, Edison was sitting on his quilt, which was on my lap, and I was thinking I might like a quilt for me (people need quilts, too!). If you are still making the kitty quilts, what's the new price?
I'm sure you've had plenty of kitties in your life, but please do feel free to contact me if you ever have questions or just want to bounce something off of someone. My husband, Kevin, and I sometimes feel like we run a cat hospital, what with all the illnesses our guys have had (several IBDs, two kidney failures, several hyperthyroids, one cancer, one diabetes,...). Point is, we're happy to share our experience if it might help someone else in any way.
Take care of yourself and your feline family.
Annie
P.S. Wrt Zorro, you never know! When we bought our first house, my husband Kevin and I went to the shelter to adopt one cat. But who can break up friends or family? So it came down to a set of three littermates or a different set of two littermates. We went with the three cats. One of the other two was adopted soon after that. Somehow, although we kept in touch w/the shelter, it escaped our notice for four years(!) that the other of the two was still there. Once we found out, we immediately adopted him ("Stashy" and his ladyfriend "Clara" bc I really don't like breaking up buds and litters; I know they can do well separately, but I just don't like it).
A year later, Stashy was dying of kidney failure. I came upon a year old cat on petfinder and immediately wanted him, but felt that I couldn't deal with adding a new cat to the current five while dealing with the terminal illness of one of those five. Stashy died about 4 months later. A few months after that, I was "window shopping" on petfinder and VanDyke was still there! He's been w/us for 7 years now. He's the one getting Pepcid and prednisone. He's also diabetic and gets insulin 2x/day. (He was very sick about a year ago, but he's made quite the turnaround.)
Now, I'm not saying Zorro will still be there, but you never know. If he's not, as others have said, he'll have found a furrever home and (unfortunately, in a way) there will be another little lovebug to adopt.
Okay, I'll stop rambling now! Good luck!
I think it might cause Gizzy more stress if you brought a new kitty in right now, though I can understand wanting to give Millie a playmate and keep her from bothering Gizzy so much. When my mom's kitties were getting older, they acted the same way Gizzy is now. There were good days where they ate and acted more normally, then there were bad days where they didn't seem interested in anything. Both passed at home of natural causes, without suffering or pain. I bet a harness or a stroller for trips to the Outside would make Gizzy happy and maybe stimulate his appetite.
Karen C.
Lynne
You've had some wonderful comments here and don't think I can add anything different. Just one point I'd like to make - our Daisy had an ultrasound scan a few weeks ago, and it turned out to be a fiasco because her notes and history were mislaid at the hospital and they were kind of working "blind". They couldn't give any definite diagnosis, but were able to advise us that the things we feared worst were NOT happening, to our relief. The hospital were very good and have offered us another scan, free of charge, but we have decided not to go ahead - we know enough of what is NOT wrong with her, and she is the same age as Gizzy, so even if we'd had a full diagnosis and surgery was pronounced necessary, we wouldn't have put her through it, so declined the offer of the second scan. It seems to me that with a few hiccups here and there Gizzy is "holding his own" at the moment .... and that is good.
Good for Gizzy! We's glad he's hafin some good days. Gettin old is the poops in a lotta ways, but it's great he's hafin good days. He'll let yoo know when it's time for him to go to the Bridge to wait fur yoo there. Zorro will find a furever home cuz he's awful cute, so don't worry bout him. You do what yoo need to do for yore fambly at home.
We's not surprized the flyin quilts has solded so good eifur -- they's beeyootiful! We can't wait til ours flies all the way here!
Purrrrrrrrrrrs,
Sanjee, Boni, Mini, Pepi and Gree
I think you made the right decision in regards to Zorro. I'm glad that Gizzy seems to be holding his own.
Just like elderly people, Gizzy may be depressed? Who knows...but we're pyaing' fer him.
Re: Quilts - We would say keep makin' them (even if it's jsut to start a side income)! Efurrybody seems to love 'em - we sure do!
Listen to your heart and your vet. You will know when the time is right. Never an easy decision but always done with love.
My only advise is to wait, when it feels right it will be right.
You're in our thoughts! Purrs
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{mom lynne}}}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{{{{{gizzy}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
After reading all the comments, you've got a fair response from all...balanced you know. Of course curiosity is an earmark of a cat owner, but I think your right at this point, too expensive without having a good benifit for Gizzy.
About adopting another cat, I'll be firm on this one. No, don't do it right now. Wait till after Gizzy goes to the rainbow. With his health as it is, bringing in another cat might make his last few days an upsetting time for him. Yes, I definetly think you should get a young companion for Millie...I got one for my MeiLin, but, its better to wait a few months or however long Gizzy remains.
You'll know when it gets close to his time. Watch to see if he is in pain, is he still eating, and if he's still doing regular happy-time behaviors...when you lose 2 out of those 3...make an appointment. Thats my experience anyway.
Meant to say something more about the benefits about getting a same age companion in a multi-cat home. My MeiLin loves her 'brother" CGPHunter though the first few days were a tribulation...lol. MeiLin growled and hissed, swatted him, ect... But now, they wrestle cuddle snuggle and kanoodle. ;)
We thinks you made the best choice for all concerned. Gizzy is still wantin to be home and Zorro would probably stress him out. Four cats can keep you furry busy. We are three and we keep Mom busy. Feel better Gizzy ~Merlin, Shadow, Ko Ko
Mum and I support your decision. In the long run things will all work out. Gizzy may have his ups and downs, but I wouldn't want to upset things with a new kittie. Lots of hugs and purrs to all.
Darling Millie's mom Lynne, 1st we gotted our qwiltz today and we lub dem berry much, now mommy wants to say sumting.
Lynne The quilts are beautiful and If the kitties let me I will get and post pictures. I am glad Gizzy has good days. I think you are doing the right thing in not bringing in another kitty right now, it may come to a point that you decide Millie is all you need and you are all she needs. I think for my own piece of mind I would go ahead with the ultrasound just to know. If he is diabetic or something you may be able to keep him for a few more years. But on the other hand he is 15 years is a long life for a kitty and he has had a happy life. He may have the winter blahs and going outside once in while may help him, but he is 15 and in your heart you already know what to do and I believe you have made that decision and Gizz will let you know when it is time. (eyes leaking here) it will be a hard time for you and Jas and millie. You can only give them love and when they leave you will have pain in your heart, he will wait for you at the bridge and he will be sitting up high until he sees you and then he will run to meet you. God Bless you and keep you in peace. Our prayers are with you.
Sue
our mom sez:
i think, (((((dear lynne))))), that you are spot-on how you're handling this. we've already decided the same for our elderly darlings, nelson and xena (and before them, sugar and thor, xena's parents, and many cats before them). we'll keep them comfortable and happy until they decide otherwise. and we'll cherish every moment until then.
sue of zorro's crew said it all--you have made the decision, and gizzy will let you know.
we love you, and will purr and purrray for you, each and all, efurry day.
the meowers and ol' leaky mom
As a fellow catblogger who just went through the heartache of losing a beloved friend, I understand completely what you are feeling. Even though Smudge has not crossed the Rainbow Bridge, he has left our household for good. He left a huge hole in our hearts. We can see him every weekend, but the cat we see is no longer our Smudge. When we found Baci, there were three other cages full of gorgeous black kittens. If we had really wanted to we could have "replaced" Smudge.We didn't wanted to repalced our beloved friend, but wanted to his his honoured place in our house to another who needed it. When it is time for Gizzy to leave, then you should think about another member for your family. Enjoy this moments for they are all we ever have when we give are hearts to a creature that is doomed to fade before we do.
We think if Gizzy is perking up when going out, he should be going out more often, and maybe feeding at the same time while perked up. It sounds like Gizzy is not yet ready to go, but like everyone said you will know in your heart when that time comes. Pets, like humans, can go up and down for a long time before the time comes. By the way, Zorro IS adorable and we think he looks a lot like Millie. Stay strong! We're here whenever you need us!
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