1. I like my scritches. Right behind the ears.
2. I know how to ask Mom for them.
3. I ask, very politely, for my treats every night at treat time. Now that I've got Mom fully trained, I only have to meow the tiniest of meows and she jumps right up and gets the treat tin.
4. There aren't any dirty dishes in the kitchen, and the laundry is all folded.
5. She's read two books this week alone. (I mean started and finished them both). She started another one last night, and she'll probably be finished with that by the end of the week.
6. Mom bought like eleventy books for herself at Christymas. Really. One, two, three, five, six, eight, ten, eleventy.
7. When Mom sits down to read a book on her Kindle, I get close by and get my scritches and pets. Why would I need a Kindle of my own?
8. Mom really isn't lazy. I just like to tease her. Seriously though, I think she needs to be lazier. Like me, for example.
9. The night before last I chased a cricket all around the house. It was great fun. I even brought it to show Mom. She was very proud of me.
10. OK, that last bit wasn't very lazy of me, but hey, I'm a cat, that's my job.